Self Sourcing Happens When You Let Go of Reaction
By Gurudev

Self-sourcing happens in the absolute silence of the gap between thoughts. The preceding thought has collapsed and vanished. The succeeding thought has not yet been created. In the gap between the two is the field of infinite possibilities. Meditation is a technique for creating a greater and greater gap.

Reaction Closes the Gap and Separates You From the Source
The unity of Being manifests through multitudes of diversified forms of physical, mental and emotional actions. But in reaction, your self-image, which has separated from the Source, manifests. Habitual, instant reaction happens in the form of feeling, mind chatter, speech and acting. It occurs within the belief of who you are. All reaction, whether mental dialogue, verbal expression, or emotional action, occurs as a coping mechanism. It extends unresolved fears of the past into the present. It is a defense against current possibilities, or a fear of the unknown future. Your self-image reacting to an event is a denial of the opening that Reality provides.

In This Gap of Silence is a New Opening
All possibilities are open and you can return to Self as Source when you are daring enough to leap into the present without a reaction, without resistance to what is happening now. So trust not in defensive reasoning, but in the reason that helps you bear reality with joy. In the absence of a reactive defense, when you surrender the self-image, you appear differently to everyone present. There is a new kind of opening that happens in your being in non-reaction - for you, the other, and life. The absence of reaction is silence and deep relaxation. What is caused by the silence instead of a reaction cannot be taught or explained. The absence of a reaction is the active expression of love -- love that is not sheltered and shadowed by the ego or self-concepts. Love itself will teach you.

More About Self-image Defense
Your self image is made up of your conditioned belief system. It operates like a programmed computer, directing your perceptions and activities. It uses up the real life force of prana (energy) and chokes life out of real potential. You live for dream solutions for this shadow self. Whenever your self-image is challenged, you tend to identify with it and feel like you are challenged. You call it "negative" and resist it. Often your resistance is rationalized or greatly justified. But that reaction is just a fight against that which is disturbing to your self-image. If you feel frustrated or abused, you try to compensate by adopting "strength" maneuvers to defend your hurt. It is a defensive reinforcement of your self-concept and interferes with connections to Self. Then, whatever you do, even performing "good," socially acceptable acts, fails to fulfill the true Self, and merely fulfills the conditioned belief system.

Awakening Out of the Dreams of Self Concepts
The absence of reaction happens only if you trust that the gap generated by letting go of resistance creates the possibility for awakening out of the dream of self concepts. When you do not react to defend yourself, your false identity with self-image is put aside. You cease protecting the image. The gap of meditative choiceless awareness is created. In that gap is the surrender of self-image and the resurrection of the Self. It is a silent invocation of the presence of a divine entity - a spirit guide - to provide the deepest possible shift for yourself, and everyone around.

The Spiritual Journey
What is good for your soul is a threat to your self-image. When you embark upon the spiritual journey, you tend to resist what looks "negative" and chase desired "positive" or "spiritual" results. This may look like a normal thing to do, but it is the deceptive work of the ego. It is reaction - a most unspiritual act. When you stop being for positive and against negative, the gap - the silence - is created. It is in this absence of reaction that there is witness. Silent observation is the most spiritual way of being in the presence of both positive and negative experiences. Try to practice this nonresistance whenever your self concepts are challenged and you feel like defending your idea. Don't try to explain or clarify your position defensively. Later, after you are clear of the reactive mode, you may clarify your position - not justify it.

Active Inactivity
All actions, whether physical or mental, that are deliberately directed toward the awakening of the Self - not reactions to anything within or without - are willful actions. All deliberate actions that guide the course of life toward unfolding the power of the field of unity are willful disciplines. Willful actions are a result of response-ability - your ability to choose your response rather than be a victim of an automatic reaction. They prepare and purify the physical body; clear the nadis (channels of energy); calm the mind; and balance vata, pitta and kapha (three natures known in Ayurvedic sciences.) Such active inactivity reestablishes the integration of the body, mind and spirit.

You Literally Eat Your Own Thoughts
If thoughts, actions, and feelings arise out of your shadow self, they cannot be digested or metabolized by the body. Unmetabolized experience causes blocks of insensitivity that become unconsciousness. All undigested experiences have a toxic effect on both body and mind. Reactions reinforce toxicity. A willful act that leads toward integration with the Self releases the toxins and the blocks acquired from separative self-concepts. Silence is the metabolism of immortality which exists beyond space and time.

The Way You Perceive, You Create
Mind and matter are different frequencies of the eternal Self. The way you interpret the unified field theory is the way you create your world of experiences. If interpretations are from a sense of separated self, you set up separation from the Source. When you stop interpreting, you experience the unified field of consciousness directly. This is perception through the unconditional witness. You must also act from constant remembrance that you are divine, rather than that you are deficient, lonely and so forth. If your perception changes to that of a higher state of consciousness, you can create. Then, instead of seeing to believe, you can believe to see. You are the seer that creates the scenery. When you change to Self-sourcing, you are no longer in the state of object referral that is separative. Rather, there is inner integration and Self-referral.

Grace
This non-reactive way of being is living in the "fire." It takes great courage to sit still and surrender. Meditation helps. That quiet approach to constantly alternating positive and negative experiences is the ultimate, invincible defense. Sitting in that fire is the real surrender of ego. When the ego burns, grace showers. You are taken to the unified field of all creativity - Self-sourcing. In this surrendered state, all evolutionary expressions and actions spontaneously and effortlessly emerge. In this grace, your highest desires are fulfilled without having to strive for them. Such desires are founded not in separative consciousness, but in the field of unity and integration. When intelligence is rooted in the field of unity consciousness, you are grounded in Self-sourcing, and can act with maximum creativity and efficiency. The action itself is self-fulfilling rather than the end result. Instead of reaction, there is only Reality. Yogi Amrit Desai is a world renowned teacher and author on yoga and consciousness. Originally from India, he has based himself in the United States for over 35 years.

From the Trans Quarterly, Spring 1997, Volume 12, No. 1, Page 11-12.